Why hello blog. Happy 2012.
It’s been a while since we’ve been together and truthfully, that was totally intentional.
This holiday season has been absolutley wonderful I got to have some amazing visits with my family in San Francisco, West Virginia, and Tennessee. I got to visit with my lovely friends. I ate at Aubrey’s. I drove and car jammed hard. And most importantly, I got to take a step back from my life in New York, evaluate where I am, and get some much needed R&R.
It was just so darn perfect.
And now, I’m back.
I realized the insanity and stress of finding a job and moving to New York had really set the pace for my way of living in New York and that just doesn’t need to be the case anymore. (I guess it is hard to really look at your life when you are in the middle of it!)
This break has really allowed me to look at my new life in New York, what stresses me out, what makes me happy, what I could use more of and what I need less of. For the first time in my life, there is no time frame, no end point to my current journey. So now, it is time for me to set my own pace for life and this vacation has really provided me with clarity and self-guidance. I have set goals, or more appropriately, resolutions, but not just for this year but more for my new journey in life.
1. I’m going to embrace learning opportunities and continue to grow.
With this being the first time in life I’ve been out of the classroom, I feel stalemated. I’ve realized that there are new outlets for learning that I want to take advantage of. I’m excited to take improv classes (finally), take advantage of working in a university, read more, watch documentaries, travel, and recognize that everyday is a learning opportunity.
2. I’m going to be my truest self
This is a big one. I’ve realized that there have been times when ive felt desperate to find my place in this city. To the point where ive let my core go. I’ve realized that if im fake to gain something I think I want, it isn’t something I really want. By being my truest self, I’ll attract those people and situations that best work for my true self. I want to make friends, but real friends.I want to find a niche, but in something that is truly right for me. By being my truest self, I will accept my feelings- acknowledge it is okay to feel sad, okay to feel happy, and okay to be discontent at times. Just because I’m living in a big new exciting city doesn’t mean I don’t have varied emotions. (note: I’m not saying that I’m going to join a tribe and rename myself Solstice or something, although that would be cool, I’m still me, just a me that is truthful even with myself)
3. No regrets
If I follow 2, this should fall in line. I want to be able to know that everything I did had intention. I want to love hard, fight hard, do everything I can, try my hardest and leave nothing on the table.
4. Embrace the unknown.
This is the first year in my life where I have no idea what is ahead of me. I mean, I have my job, but even with events we have no idea what is ahead of us. So as a control freak, this scares me a bit. The idea of absolutely nothing and absolutely everything in front of me at the same time is exciting and terrifying. But I’m embracing it. And when whatever is coming comes at me, I’ll take it on, guns-a-blazin.
So 2012, I’m proud of you thus far. I think we will be good together. Let’s go kick ass.